
01 Jul Keep the Big Things Big and the Little Things Little
Chances are at some point this week youโll find yourself getting frustrated, cross, anxious, or upset (this may not sound terribly motivational for a Monday morning, but bear with me!)
When it happens (and maybe it already has), press pause. Take a mental step back from the situation and ask yourself โ๐ธ๐ฉ๐ข๐ตโ๐ด ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐บ ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ?โ
The last few months have given us all cause to reflect on whatโs important to us, but under pressure itโs all too easy for these things to get lost. We know our health is important, but weโre too busy to prioritise self-care; we treasure those closest to us but they drive us crazy (particularly if youโre trying to school them, work alongside them in a confined space or look after them from afar); we want to spend quality time with those who are important to us but instead weโre distracted or busy.
Now more than ever, everyoneโs emotions are running a little higher. Our brains love structure, stability and certainty and in the current situation all of these are in short supply; our stress-response is primed (if not already on over-drive) and our minds are trying to compute 1001 different versions of the future before breakfast all whilst being a tech-guru, maths genius and trying to predict the weather for the next time we venture out.
Our stress response is brilliant at keeping us safe from clear and present danger (think sabre-toothed tigers) but when we’re primed for fight and flight we arenโt the best versions of ourselves โ weโre not thinking straight. Our ability to problem-solve, make decisions, remember things and think rationally are all diminished. Empathy and logic take a side-line and our ability to see the wider picture diminishes. We may do or say things we later regret, procrastinate or let our minds tie themselves in knots of worry that later seems illogical despite having been so real at the time.
Our emotions give us data, they tell us that something is important and we need to take notice of it. When you feel like your stress response is kicking in or when youโre feeling those uncomfortable emotions such as frustration, guilt, anger then press pause and check in.
Breathe. Ask yourself:
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ตโ๐ด ๐ช๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ต๐ข๐ฏ๐ต ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ?
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ต๐ค๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ฅ๐ฐ ๐ ๐ธ๐ข๐ฏ๐ต?
๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐จ๐ฐ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฃ๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ?
Get perspective. Stress is rather like standing with your nose to the rock face that youโre trying to climb โ your view and your options are very limited. Step backwards and look at the whole picture.
-Is the outcome of this situation still going to be important in an hour/ a day/ a week/ a month?
– Is this a big thing that you need to do something about or is it a little thing that can be put to one side?
– Is this a worry that you need to actively address to give yourself more information or control or one you need to acknowledge and then let go?
– Is there a principle at stake or just differing points of view?
What do you want from this situation, for you and for anyone else involved? What’s in your control about the situation – is there action you can take to influence it or is it something beyond your control where the most helpful response is acceptance – not liking it, just letting it be what it is.
By pressing pause, you give yourself a chance to respond rather than to react, and most importantly, you get to choose that response.
โ๐๐ฆ๐ต๐ธ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฏ ๐ด๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ถ๐ญ๐ถ๐ด ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ด ๐ข ๐ด๐ฑ๐ข๐ค๐ฆ. ๐๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ด๐ฑ๐ข๐ค๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฎ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ณ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ค๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฆ. ๐๐ฏ ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ณ๐ฆ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฆ๐ด ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐จ๐ณ๐ฐ๐ธ๐ต๐ฉ ๐ข๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ง๐ณ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐ฅ๐ฐ๐ฎ.โ
Viktor Frankl
Knowing what youโre trying to achieve and whatโs important helps to ensure that youโre moving in the right direction โ youโre acting in line with your values and your outcomes and whatever unfolds, youโve brought your best self to the situation.
This week, keep stepping back and giving yourself that sense of perspective. With it comes a sense of control as you see the choices available. Above all, keep your eye and your mind on the big things.
Stay safe, keep well, be kind
Px